The Association that Heals Shame

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Shame has a long history. It starts right at the beginning of Genesis 3:6-10, where we see the stuff of life crammed all into one paragraph: God, temptations, self-consciousness, and shame.  One by one, shame’s trinity of nakedness, rejection, and contamination come marching by.  Nakedness came first.  For Adam and Eve it seemed as if nakedness dominated.  They hoped fig … Read More

3 Steps to Dust off the Dirt of Shame?

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Shame is very real.  For example: a sexually violated woman feels contaminated by what has been done to her, and she really has been contaminated.  Shame feels like you have dirt on you that you cannot seem to wash off.  It does not matter how you have been violated, the shame, causes you to believe you are a mess and … Read More

Certainty in the Darkness

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In the deep dark of despair we think that we are spiritually dead. We ask ourselves, “What good can come of this deep depression?” We loath the despairing feelings that attempt to convince us that death would be a better answer. The hopelessness we feel in the midst of despair can be a result of a relational conflict.  If you … Read More

Marriage is Only For Characters

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So many people today have gone or are going through the pain of divorce.  The age at which they get divorces has risen from the 30s and 40s to now more marriages end when spouses enter their 50s.  For women in their 50s the ability to find jobs and acclimate to independent living is made much more difficult and can leave them … Read More

I Want a Big House

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The unfortunate part about being a counselor is living with a broken heart.  I know we live in a broken world filled with death and disease. I know we face the consequences of our sin the pain and shame of being sinned against. I know that the enemy, the devil, is always up to no good. My heart hurts for … Read More

Identity Theft

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Today women reside in more and more isolation, and some of this may be self-imposed because of fear caused by abandonment, shame, and rejection. I get angry as I hear the stories of men, husbands, and ex-spouses who continue to abuse women with their words, criticisms, money, manipulations, and fists. Women live in fear because their worlds are so uncertain.  … Read More

Adventure in Obedience

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My beloved friend Kathy is sitting in church one Sunday, when she is prompted by the Holy Spirit to talk to the woman sitting next to her.  The woman was in her mid-thirties and a total stranger.  In obedience to the Spirit, Kathy turned to the woman and said, “I don’t want to weird you out or anything, but the … Read More

Stop, Drop, and Roll

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Most of us were taught as children that if we ever caught on fire we shouldn’t panic and run, but stop running, drop to the ground, and roll out the fire.  That’s a teaching we can also apply to dealing with the fire of emotions in our lives. Emotions have been created by our loving heavenly Father as indicators of … Read More

How to Love Another by Listening

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Are you one of those people, who when circumstances become difficult and painful, you think and think until you figure it all out and then you might speak?  Maybe you are the opposite, when something is trying on your soul you just have to talk out loud and have someone process with you?  I don’t know if this is true … Read More

3 Evidences of a Changed Heart

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We can all struggle to know what true repentance from sin looks like.  2 Corinthians 7:10 identifies two types of sorrow.  If we are truly convicted of our sin by the Holy Spirit, we will be grieved by our past actions to the point of doing everything we can to fight against sin.  On the other hand, worldly sorrow means … Read More